It’s a special relationship you have with your beauticians, especially your airbrush spray tanner. Although you don’t need an occasion to tan, Bridget came to tan for a wedding she was attending. Before she undressed, she gave me this bashful puppy dog face and said she had a confession.
“I had sex the other night! …And I got spanked….It was a pretty hard spanking!”
I looked at her, smiled, and then we both busted out laughing. She showed me her butt, both of her checks were tomato red!
Bridget and I have become close friends. A week before I had come to her house to do an energy clearing on her and her apartment. As women do, we talked about certain frustrations with men, etc…so we joked the clearing worked! At the end of the clearing I told her clearings aren’t to fix anything, it’s just clearing so things come back into balance. Sometimes immediately after the clearing, it may bring up uncomfortable things. But if you are clear, you make decisions from a more peaceful place, moving you forward instead of being stuck.
During the tan, Bridget informed me she finally told the guy she was seeing in the summer off. He was trying to be “friends.” She was polite to him even though he really hurt her. He was seeing his ex the entire time, lying/cheating to her. In her anger she texted “…and you need to seek therapy for the death of your friend.” Bridget said it was a low blow but she felt good getting it off her chest. A couple of her bestfriends told her “ewww….maybe you shouldn’t have said that.” I could feel her struggle with it as Bridget is very thoughtful and kind.
At that moment, I noticed the scab/scar on Bridget’s chest. I know its been there since I started tanning her in January. Because I understand the laws of emotional and spiritual roots in physical manifestations, I asked about the scab. She told me it just won’t go away, even with the steroid cream the doctors have given her. I told her that her body is telling her she needs to “get things off her chest” more often.
I tell Bridget a story of this lady who got ovarian cancer. Years prior she was in a relationship where the man wanted her to have sex with another man where he could watch. She was very uncomfortable with it but did it because she loved him. She broke it off afterwards but carried the shame of it. She told her healer the story and how she was a prostitute. Her healer asked her if she got paid for the sex. She said no. Her healer told her she isn’t a prostitute because she didn’t get paid. She carried this belief all these years, causing her to be stuck in relationships, and eventually the cancer in her reproductive areas. When the healer brought this truth to her, she was able to let go of the shame. I told Bridget its the same with her. Don’t feel guilty or shameful. You don’t need to be friends or friends with his friends. Forgive him, forgive you, its ok and time to move on.
Every night I write gratitudes and reflections of the day, sending peace to those I connected with. Writing about Bridget I thought about how many other women struggle with this. I remembered the TED talk Brene Brown did on shame, it helped me shift so much. Bridget gave me permission to share this story , changing her real name. We both hope this helps you shift with any shame you are experiencing.
I know this story started out light-hearted and got deep…it’s the raw real naked world spray tanners live in. Namaste!