May was a really hard month for me energetically with extremes in Joy and Sadness. It’s taken me a few weeks now to process it and let the new energy in for this soul shift. It is my intention that this connects you to what you are suppose to connect to.

For the past 3 years, my colitis flares have started in April/May. I’ve been on a new med for the past 9 months. This time of the year is the true test to if this medication is going to work for me. Mid April blood and mucous appeared in my stools again and I was going to the bathroom 8+ times a day. It put me in a panic with worry, fear, and anxiety. From previous experience, there is a vamp up period of about 2 months where I’ll end up hospitalized and totally debilitated for a couple of months.

At the same time, this time of the year is my favorite time of the year. I absolutely love all the connections I make with clients. My life was lining up with so many wonderful things with the studio, my home, relationships, the energy clearings and Chinese face reading.

For some reason though, I was waking up 4-5AM with worry and anxiety. Ever since I started doing energy clearings my body has become really sensitive. I had to learn what are my feelings and what may be someone else’s. My mentor Jean Haner taught me that it’s just an emotion. You don’t have to go to your emotion, just be aware of it. It’s best to feel it, allow yourself to feel it, and it will pass.

There were so many waves of this. I didn’t want to take anti-anxiety medication but really considered it. Using the principles of Chinese Medicine, I didn’t try to eliminate it, just bring it to balance. I took baths, meditated, read, and did things to feed my soul so I could heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I didn’t want to go into my old patterns and suppression. I took this time out to do the Hay House World Summit and connect to what calls to me now.

One day in particular mid May, I woke up and felt an anxiety attack coming on. I really had no reason to be like this. I thought about who I could have cleared recently that was possibly sticking to me. I started crying despite how hard I was trying to hold it back. I let myself cry in a hot bath. I was exhausted afterwards and fell back asleep for awhile.

All day I felt a melancholy and prayed to GOD, my angels, unicorns, dragons to take it away. I kept thinking about the movie Inside Out which I watched recently with my 3 year old niece Victoria. This is one of the most brilliant cartoons made! It has these emotions in “head-quarters” that are responsible for how you experience things and create core memories that impacts your life. There is Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Sadness. Sadness is blue and quite frankly, not very fun. Everyone is annoyed with Sadness. Even Sadness is annoyed with herself and wants to go away to spare the others.

At the end, Sadness SAVES the day!!! You must have Sadness to really shift though. I kept thinking Sadness is trying to teach me something. Sadness will save the day. You cannot think yourself out of Sadness, you must really allow yourself to FEEL it. There is no way around it, you must go through it.

The next day, I felt better. Still not my Chief Happiness Officer self but I thought about what I needed now and wanted now. I decided to just explore and see what shows up.

I found some soul shifts. When your soul is shifting, it’s being reborn. With birth, there are LABOR pains! Every year for the past 6 years, it seems like my body does this energetically…masked as my colitis flares and these emotional waves.

I found a great new teacher Dr. Barbara DeAngelis. She teaches you about these soul shifts. She gave me a new tool to use which has allowed me to experience more for my higher good. She taught me to say the following things to move my consciousness.

“Today I’m going to see what I’m suppose to SEE. Today I’m going to feel what I’m suppose to FEEL. Today I’m going to know what I’m suppose to KNOW.”

today im going to

It seems so simple you may doubt its power. Energetically it awakens you. Today puts you immediately to the PRESENCE of today. The “suppose to” is the universe’s wisdom guiding you to what is best for you and your consciousness to let go of control issues, ego, and attachments to outcomes. The see is so you believe, the feel is to get you into your body, the know is trust in your intuition and inner knowing.

Give it a try and be assured, Sadness will save the day if you allow yourself to see, feel, and know.

Since then, I started noticing new feelings, thoughts, a new calmness, and more presence. Because of it, I connected with new people and some old ones. One of them, my former music producer Trevor Huster. We are going to collaborate again to produce some new guided meditations and videos. One of them is “Accessing the Power of Your Face.” Another one is “Soul Shifting.”

Then today, Marie Forleo posted a video with one of my favorite teachers Marianne Williamson. It’s about how you need Sadness. This came through on my feed as I was finishing up this blog, which has taken me 3 weeks…

I’m sending you so much courage, strength, wisdom, and most importantly LOVE so can shift to your highest potential.